sighh

its simply heart breaking realising that only she,only your best friend,could help you in times of difficulty.
I guess i'm hopeless , really yea. haha.

these few days , been like a rollercoaster ride.
its like whenever i find out something ,
and i dont wanna believe it ,
i realise another thing ,
which supports the first thing and screw me over.
Complicated much , i dón't know how to say it ,
its just running through my mind.

I'm so selfish ,
i realised.
i get so jealous over trival matters.
why.
i really don't wanna be a pain ,
but i cant help it ?
i try but i cant ?

its like ,
things have changed.
last time it was long conversations ,
but now its like on a lucky day i get not-so quck replies.
but on bad days , sigh , dont even wanna go there.
im not a stalker and stuff ,
although i might put my words in a very weird way ,
but i just feel that this is adding on to my paranoia..

but what could i expect right ?
i should already thank the world to be able to be in a relationship with someone as awesome as you.
Let alone to love me back.
sigh ,
fuck it , the whole world god dam knows im definately not your type ,
so i should be thankful for the relationship to exist right.

People like me , shouldn't complain so much.
should just be thankful.


fuck the webcam pics , fuck the msn , fuck off my mind and leave me alone.