sighh

its simply heart breaking realising that only she,only your best friend,could help you in times of difficulty.
I guess i'm hopeless , really yea. haha.

these few days , been like a rollercoaster ride.
its like whenever i find out something ,
and i dont wanna believe it ,
i realise another thing ,
which supports the first thing and screw me over.
Complicated much , i dón't know how to say it ,
its just running through my mind.

I'm so selfish ,
i realised.
i get so jealous over trival matters.
why.
i really don't wanna be a pain ,
but i cant help it ?
i try but i cant ?

its like ,
things have changed.
last time it was long conversations ,
but now its like on a lucky day i get not-so quck replies.
but on bad days , sigh , dont even wanna go there.
im not a stalker and stuff ,
although i might put my words in a very weird way ,
but i just feel that this is adding on to my paranoia..

but what could i expect right ?
i should already thank the world to be able to be in a relationship with someone as awesome as you.
Let alone to love me back.
sigh ,
fuck it , the whole world god dam knows im definately not your type ,
so i should be thankful for the relationship to exist right.

People like me , shouldn't complain so much.
should just be thankful.


fuck the webcam pics , fuck the msn , fuck off my mind and leave me alone.

)':

'cause you mean the world to me

Soulmate ;
the one you truly love ;
someone who means the world to you ;
you.
Happy valentines day baby (:







çause i know you are the only one that reads my blog (:

stressed

school work , exams , and personal problems.
all these are killing me now.
okay not school work and exams.
at this point of time i'd rather fuck them up then to think about the problems im having now.
i dont kow what to do.

you think i dont wanna meet you everyday ?
there are like so many factors that are stopping me.
and its like .
omfg i really donno what to do.
i think im such a failure.
just fuck it okay.

let me go through this myself.
since no one will .
i will do it myself.
fuck my stressed up life.

i have a traditional mindset.
live with it.
if you cant , then i cant help much either.
im just like that.
accept or just forget.
suck it up or just live with it.
im sorry.
i wont be a great husband , boyfriend , in your eyes.
its not only what my parents are thinking ,
me too myself , i'm afraid.
i'm afraid of whatever their afraid of.
why ?
cause im just god damn traditional.

i dont know how much longer i can take this ,
everything is just piling up on me ,
i dont want to go through a breakdown ,
i just want all the problems to go away.
Please , someone , somewhere , on top ,
please , i need someone to talk to.
please , dont torture me like that ,
what have i done to deserve this ,
i know im in no right to request for anythng ,
but can i just have someone to talk to ,
somone to share my load with.

lol ..

playing with me at the start ,
was a fool , believing whatever you said.
but i hope its true now.
gravity has nothing to do with people falling in love ,
at least not for me.
you're driving me to the edge of paranoia .
i really hope all that exists now , all you say ,
is true .
i hope that nothing will change.
i hope that the past will leave in our shadows , and not come back to haunt us.
i hope that you will be happy.
i hope that you give a shit about this relationship.
and i hope that you love me.

i will never leave you , not because you said you wouldn't , not because you said you love me , no because you are the sweetest person on earth, not because you are perfect , but because i simply love you.

(: happy happy

Life's at its peak now.
Everything is so perfect , everyone seems perfect.
Baby is definitely perfect (:

Just got back from bb's place .
Can't believe time passes so fast ,
i turn around and there's you''re not there.

Bb , you have come to grow to be a part of my life ,
no matter what problems we are going true , i will face it with you ,
no matter what obstacles you entercounter , i will face it with you ,
i will hold you hand and walk this race.
The race to the finish line which would be everlasting love and happiness.
I love you babyy !!

outcomes.

I can't forget , but i can somehow forget
But i cant take it , the incident at holland , your past talking to lots and tons of guys.
i really can't take it anymore.
i feel like killing myself .

i was right ,
how could a fairytale be so perfect .
then , there was a loophole.
i really can't forget about the holland incident.

You let him hold your hand , despite being high , its still not a reason.
if you really love someone , you will have the determination to overcome your tipsy-ness to stop him from doing it.
I'm not sad , just feel really disappointed.
I'm accepting your past , thats why you're still my girlfriend.
But the thing is , all the past , and the stuff that you did , just make me think and assume
that history would repeat itself.
i'm afraid.

i always remember about that incident ,
its haunting me everything you're not with me ,
everytime your phone rings.
fml.